I finally started work on my book today and I feel relieved that I’ve actually been able to sit down and start typing it out at last.
In some respects it was easy to go over some old wounds while recounting early memories, but in other respects it made me wonder if I have enough detail to write much of a book. “How long is this finally going to be?” I asked myself as I worked on the first few pages. “What is relevant to put in and what is not?” I thought. I guess for now it’s more a case of getting down what I do remember and waiting to see which areas of my life have more to say. If it only amounts to 100 pages then so be it. I’ll find a way some how to bring it more up to book standard size.
I also started work on a novel before sitting down to do the book. I figure a good escape from examining and analysing my life to put into words is to write about one that doesn’t exist anywhere else but on the computer screen. I like the idea that I can create a story where I set where the traumas are. Where I can make something fantastical from my own imagination without touching too much on the tragedy of my life history. The novel is about a man that has lived his whole life experiencing possession by some unknown force which makes him do things without his own will. It’s been inspired from my own experiences during psychosis.
So now I’ve set myself the task of writing these two books, I wonder if I’ve got it in me to complete them. I read somewhere once about so many people who start but never finish. Hopefully I don’t end up in that percentile.